Self-esteem is something all of us grapple with at different points in our lives. It shapes how we see ourselves, how we navigate challenges, and how we build relationships. But for many people in the LGBTQ+ community, self-esteem is more than a personal journey; it’s one deeply intertwined with societal messages, discrimination, and the ongoing work of affirming one’s identity in a world that has not always been welcoming. Understanding these struggles is essential not only for LGBTQ+ individuals but also for friends, family members, educators, clinicians, and allies who want to offer meaningful support.
What Is Self-Esteem?
Self-esteem is a surprisingly simple term for what is actually a complex set of mental and emotional processes. It reflects how a person evaluates themselves, how worthy they feel of love and respect, and how capable they believe they are of facing life’s challenges. According to Psychology Today, self-esteem influences nearly every aspect of life, from academic performance and professional success to the quality of one’s relationships and overall mental health.
Self-esteem is not fixed. It fluctuates across the lifespan, shaped by experiences, environments, and relationships. Many of these roots trace back to childhood. A child raised in an environment filled with support and acceptance is more likely to develop healthy self-esteem. Conversely, children who grow up with criticism, disapproval, neglect, or hostile school environments may carry those wounds into adulthood. Dysfunctional workplaces, bullying, and chronic stress can also chip away at self-worth over time.
Because it is so deeply interconnected with our experiences, self-esteem is something nearly everyone struggles with at one point or another.
The Universal Struggle—And Why Some Are More Vulnerable
Low self-esteem affects how a person thinks, behaves, and interacts with the world. As Dr. Frazier explains, “Low self-esteem occurs when an individual feels unprepared to manage ordinary life challenges, has low self-confidence in their ability for accomplishment, is afraid of asserting their thoughts and desires, and feels unworthy or undeserving of love or happiness.” When this happens, a person’s ability to adapt, heal, and bounce back from adversity becomes diminished.
People with low self-esteem often turn to avoidance as a protective mechanism. Avoiding conflict, avoiding expressing needs, and avoiding new opportunities all provide temporary relief, but ultimately reinforce the belief that one is incapable or undeserving.
While everyone can experience low self-esteem, marginalized communities are at significantly higher risk. Discrimination, systemic inequities, and negative stereotypes create an emotional and psychological burden that disproportionately affects groups who already face societal barriers.
This is especially true for LGBTQ+ individuals.
Why LGBTQ+ People Face Unique Self-Esteem Challenges
The LGBTQ+ community often encounters threats to self-esteem that go far beyond typical life stressors. For many individuals, these experiences begin early and repeatedly teach the message that their identity is “wrong,” “other,” or “unacceptable”. Some common contributors to low self-esteem among LGBTQ+ people include:
Misgendering, which invalidates a person’s gender expression or identity- Questioning or denying someone’s identity, often rooted in stereotypes
- Social rejection, either before or after coming out
- Abandonment or strained relationships with loved ones
- Dismissive comments, such as calling queerness “a phase”
- Internalized stigma, especially when someone must hide their identity for safety
- Discrimination, harassment, and violence directed toward LGBTQ+ communities
These experiences can accumulate and create deep emotional scars, leading to chronic self-doubt, shame, or the belief that authenticity will always come at a cost. For many LGBTQ+ individuals, building healthy self-esteem is not just personal work; it is survival.
Paths Toward Healing: Resources and Strategies for Strengthening Self-Esteem
Despite the very real challenges, LGBTQ+ individuals continue to show extraordinary resilience. Healing is possible, and there are powerful ways to strengthen self-esteem even in the face of adversity.
Build Supportive, Inclusive Environments.
Community matters. Allies, clinicians, educators, and loved ones can support LGBTQ+ individuals by being:
- Inclusive
- Sensitive
- Consistent
- Well-informed
- Vocal in their support
Affirming environments help counteract negative societal messages and allow people to feel seen and valued.
Practice Self-Acceptance
Self-acceptance is often easier said than done, especially for those who have faced rejection or invalidation. But small, intentional steps matter, whether that’s using affirming language, connecting with LGBTQ+ communities, or practicing compassion toward oneself.
Prioritize Self-Care and Emotional Awareness
Activities that nurture emotional, physical, and mental well-being help rebuild one’s internal sense of worth. Self-awareness, like understanding triggers, strengths, and needs supports this process.
Use Self-Validation
Learning to validate one’s own feelings, identity, and experiences helps reduce dependence on external approval. This is especially important for LGBTQ+ individuals who may not have consistent affirmation from others.
Start Working With a Self-Esteem Therapist in Brooklyn, NY
Self-esteem is complex, deeply personal, and profoundly shaped by the world around us. For LGBTQ+ individuals, the journey toward self-worth often requires courage, community, and continuous reaffirmation. But with awareness, compassion, and support, from both within and outside the community, healing and empowerment are not only possible but completely attainable. You can start your therapy journey with SG Wellness by following these simple steps:
- Schedule a free consultation
- Meet with a caring therapist
- Start finding support for improving your self-esteem
Other Therapy Services SG Wellness Offers:
Finding support for your mental health matters. Our therapists in NY are here for you and your needs. At our therapy practice, we have therapists who identify as black therapists, Latinx therapists, Dominican, & BIPOC. It’s our mission to offer multicultural counseling that serves you and your needs. We offer therapy for people of color, therapy for Latinx individuals, indigenous populations, and Middle Eastern clients, as well as therapy for men and women. If you’re looking for a safe space, we are here for you.
Additionally, if you’re looking for another kind of support other than therapy for self-esteem, we have more services. Other services we offer include anxiety treatment and therapy for perfectionism, depression treatment, individual therapy, therapy for young and emerging adults, and individual relationship therapy. All of our services are offered via online therapy in New York. Areas we serve include Staten Island, The Bronxs, Queens, and Brooklyn, NY. When you’re ready, let’s work together.
Reference List
- https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2594522/
- https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/self-esteem
- https://uthealtheasttexas.com/2019/03/29/finding-the-source-of-low-self-esteem-and-breaking-the-cycle/#:~:text=Low%20self%2Desteem%20can%20be%20caused%20by%20many,oneself%20*%20**Self%2Dcriticism**%20Negative%20opinions%20of%20oneself
- https://mpowerminds.com/blog/Low-self-esteem-in-lgbtqia
- https://www.ginocosme.eu/blog/self-esteem
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